Ten minutes I will never give back

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

I was late getting to the YMCA this morning.

I was running late, I started to drive down the little road that takes me to the big road that takes me to the YMCA and there was Marvin and Priscilla. Marvin is 88 years-old, and moves really slowly. Priscilla, Marvin’s dog must be 105 years-old (in dog years) and moves even slower. There I was, sitting in my car on the little road by my house waiting. It can take Marvin five minutes to cross the road, it can take Priscilla even longer, she needs to stop, sit, and rest halfway through.

The thought came to me, “Well here is ten minutes that I will never get back.”

I was running late because I was finding it hard to get out of bed this morning. Not because I was tired or just didn’t feel like getting up, my back was acting up. I found it hard to move. I don’t know why. My back pain is a lot like those traffic jams you get into. You sit for a long time inching your way through, when you get to the end of the jam there is nothing there and traffic is moving just fine. You know something happened, you just don’t know what. It took me a while to slide out of bed, trying not to do the wrong thing that would cause the invisible man to stab me in the back again, with whatever it was he had. I hobble into the bathroom and attempt a shower. The shower part went ok, The whole drying off thing was another adventure. We have a lodge style house and a lodge style house has a lodge style bathroom. A lodge style bathroom must have lodge style fluffy towels with stitching of bears, deer, elk…on them. These lodge style towels live on the bottom shelf of the vanity. Normally this is a great place to have them. This morning, not so much. I started to wish I had opposable big toes like a chimp. I could just stand there and pick up a towel without bending over. I even tried to train my toes , no luck. Eventually I got a towel, only to figure out that I had air-dried in the process. Trying to get dressed turned into a math problem. My arms are only so long, I can bend my back only so far, and I can only raise my legs so high, none of which was enough to get my feet into my pants. I start doing static load comps in my head. Cos divided by theta, or is it sin times theta? This is why I’m a chaplain and not an engineer. It took some time but I finally got dressed. I got my stuff and out the door I went.

I was sitting there watching Marvin and Priscilla cross the road, feeling slightly annoyed.

Then I remembered something I had read. It was a story about a guy who had been mugged and left for dead on the side of the road. People would walk by, but they would not stop to help. Eventually this one guy from out of town stops and helps the man. He even pays for his doctor. It is an amazing story. Not just because he helped him, but because he saw him in the first place, really saw him.

Marvin’s wife had died years ago. His son moved his company far away and doesn’t come to visit anymore. All Marvin has is Priscilla. Marvin doesn’t want help crossing the road. Marvin just wants someone to visit with. I get out of the car and talk with Marvin. Eventually both Marvin and Priscilla made it to the side of the road. Eventually I managed to get back into my car.

As I drove to the YMCA this morning, I thought about Marvin. I thought about Priscilla. I thought about the Good Samaritan. We do not have to wait for a big thing to happen before we can be good Samaritans. We have the opportunity everyday to see people, really see them. We have the opportunity everyday to positively impact a person’s life. If our boss asks for something, give it to them, obviously they need it. If a member needs some help, help them with a smile on our face. There are many opportunities to Be Christ’s hands and feet every day. We just need to see the opportunity He is giving us.

Instead of thinking, “This is ten minutes I will never get back.” I would rather think, “This is ten minutes I would never GIVE back.

Blessings,

I see from my house by the side of the road

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
Those who press with the ardors of hope,
and others who faint with the strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears—
Both parts of an infinite plan.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be the friend I can.
Sam Walter Foss

We have finished the remodel of our YMCA. My office is right next to the welcome center, people call my office the fish bowl. My office has a lot of windows in it. As I sit in my office, next to the welcome center of our YMCA, I have the opportunity to watch as our members go by; young adults, young families, kids of all ages, elderly people, people with canes, crutches, wheelchairs. Many of them wave to me as the go by, a quick hello. It is easy to see the physical attributes of the people that walk by, it is much harder to see their emotional attributes; for this, I must look harder. I can see the ones where the day has not gone as planned. I can see the ones that are having a difficult time. I can see the ones that are putting a smile on a face that would rather cry.

As I sit in my office next to the welcome center, I can see those who press with the ardors of hope. I see the others who faint with the strife. My door is open, a welcoming gesture; one that many people take advantage of. They come in, tell me their woes, share their troubles, share their grief. But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears, as I sit in my office next to the welcome center in our YMCA. I trust that God has an infinite plan. I trust that God has a plan for me, a plan for them.

Many times, I sit in front of my office next the welcome center in our YMCA. It is not good enough to just sit in my office and wait. I must go be amongst, amongst those that are hurting, amongst those that grieve.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, and be the friend I can.

It really isn’t my office anyway, it is God’s office, He just lets me sit in it.
Being a chaplain is the most rewarding, painful, sometimes sad thing to be. I am humbled that I get to travel through life with people as they do the best they can to live it.

My prayer is that while I sit in my house by the side of the road, and be the friend that I can, I show people a bit of Christ along their journey.

Blessings,

Dancing with God; seeing God in the everydayness of life

My new book "Dancing with God" is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Westbow Press.  Please get one, let me know your thoughts.

Blessings,

God is a funny duck

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

God is a funny duck. I am not trying to suggest that God is actually a duck. No, what I am suggesting is that God is always about a million steps ahead of what we are planning or doing and it always causes me to laugh when I finally catch up to something He has had in the works for quite a while.

We have been going through quite the remodel at the Clark County Family YMCA. We are almost done. During the remodel process we have had to put a few programs and services on hold as we began to be compressed into smaller spaces, as other spaces where being redone. Did I mention we are almost done with the remodel? Spaces have become more available which means programs and services are have become more available.

I had a meeting scheduled for quite a while with some people that really have a heart for the community that we call home. I wanted to talk about services and various offerings that we might provide. The people wanted to talk with me, but said it was a surprise and that I would understand once they revealed their heart. Did I mention that these people were from Rhapsody Church, the church at our YMCA?

I was sitting with some of my YMCA friends the other day. As I sat with Larry Whittlesey, Jeffrey Danes, and Bob Reichen, we talked of many things. One of the things we talked about was being a repository for services, classes…things people need. We talked of many things, but mostly we talked how the YMCA is uniquely positioned to be that “safe place” where people could come for help. We left the meeting, not deciding on anything but encouraged none-the-less.

Last night I had my meeting with Rhapsody Church; it lasted for about two hours. Long story short they wanted to see if together, the YMCA and Rhapsody could build a repository of services for people that the entire community could use. Classes ranging from parenting, nutrition, counseling services, grief services…A place where many partners could reside. A place where a person who needs help could find the services that they need, without searching many different places. It was quite a meeting and therefore the reason it lasted two hours.

Earlier that day Heidi Shenk (the Aquatics director) and I had gone to the hospital to visit a member who had suffered a stroke. We do that at our YMCA. I make hospital visits for those that say they would like a hospital visit. I took Heidi because she knew this person and I like to include staff whenever possible.

Later that day I called a member who had just lost a child. We talked for a long time. Actually, she did most of the talking. I do most of the listening as a chaplain. She is in a great deal of pain and was thankful that I took the time to call. She was also thankful that the YMCA had a chaplain to talk with. We will be having more conversations I am sure. She took my cell number so that she can call when the next wave of grief hits her and needs a friendly voice and a willing ear.

At the meeting that night I talked about providing a support group for those whose loved ones have had a major life change, like a stroke.

At the meeting I talked about the mother who had lost her child. I suggested a support group for people who are grieving.

God is a funny duck.

He had this whole thing in the works for a long time. He had many more people involved in this plan than I could have imagined.

As I dove home last night, I had a tear in my eye.

As I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on the traffic behind me, I could not help but see what He had been up to all this time. As my eyes turned forward again to watch the road in front of me, I could not help but wonder what He has planned next.

Today we are feeding about 600 kids. One of the sub-communities that is right next to our YMCA has a large proportion of kids that are on a school food program, they get their meals at their school. This week is spring break. Spring Break means there is no school. To these kids, spring break means there is no food. Today we are feeding them. We are partnering with Rhapsody Church to feed these youngsters.

A day in the life of the chaplain.

A day full of pain.

A day full of possibilities.

A day full of wonderment.

Blessings,

A minimalist theology

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

Nose bleed question of the day.

Are we really looking forward to going to Heaven, or in the everydayness of our lives are we really more concerned with just staying out of hell?

This is the question that God woke me with yesterday morning.

I have been pondering this question.

If we are really looking forward to going to Heaven, our hearts are forming in a certain way. Thus, the actions that come out of our hearts with one set of motives. If all we are concerned with is merely staying out of hell, our hearts are forming in certain way. Thus, the actions that comes out of our hearts with another set of motives.

As I pondered this question, with tissue paper in hand, I was confronted with my own limitations.

I posed this question to some of the staff at our YMCA.

One of the staff, after sitting with it for a while said, “As a child I was very excited about heaven. But now, after all these years, after all the failures, all the mistakes, all the things that I have done wrong; if I am to be totally honest with myself I guess that when I think about it, I a really more concerned with just staying out of hell.”

Another staff member said, “If I stay out of hell, don’t I automatically go to Heaven? There isn’t a middle ground in-between is there?”

I told the staff that while there is a theology that has purgatory in it, a middle ground if you will. I do not hold to that theology. But what I am really talking about is the matter of the heart.

These are the things a chaplain gets to talk about with the people that call the YMCA home.

When I thought about it hard enough, wiping the blood from my nose occasionally. My thought process was. If I am really looking forward to going to Heaven, it is because I am truly in love with Christ and I know He is truly in love with me. That when I get to Heaven I will not be condemned for all the things that I got wrong in life, but rather I will be loved and accepted. If I am more concerned with just staying out of hell, it is because hell is a really bad place and I do not want to go there. My thoughts become, “what do I have to do to stay out of hell. What do I have to do to get a C-, if you will, a passing grade.

As I thought about the staffs answer about her concern with just staying out of hell, I was confronted with something that pastors talk about all the time, Grace. It is one thing to talk about Grace, it is quite another to truly feel it in your heart. You see this staff, after living a lifetime here on earth, had made mistakes, just like the rest of us. She was confronted with the fact that in her own self, she would never measure up, There was nothing she could do to be “good enough,” just like the rest of us.

This was no ethereal conversation. This was boots on the ground, a heart was broken by the realization that this person was thinking more about hell, and how to avoid it, then about Heaven and how great it will be.

I call this a minimalist theology, “What does one have to do just to stay out of hell.”

I am reminded of a monk. Brother Lawrence was a monk who had been relegated to kitchen duty. At the time he was not thought to have the intellectual prowess to actually do “Monk work” so he was in the kitchen. When Brother Lawrence made a meal, he made it as if he was making a meal for Christ. When he washed a plate, he washed it as if Christ was going to eat off of it. In fact everything Brother Lawrence did was as if he was doing it for Christ. Brother Lawrence did not do things, just to stay out of hell. No, in fact Brother Lawrence did not even think about hell, he thought about Christ and what it would be like to be with Him always. He thought about Heaven.

My prayer for today is,

Father, help me stay focused on You and not slip into minimalist theology. Give me Your words to give others that are confronted with the fact that they cannot earn their way into Heaven. Give me Your words to give others comfort and to know that You want to be with them, to love them, not to hurt them. That they have hope and a future.

Blessings,

Social unconsciousness

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

It all started innocently enough. I was at my friend’s beach house, looking out the window at the ocean. His house is on a hill that rises steeply from the beach up to a bluff. There are houses on the beach, the houses stair step up the hill occupying the landscape. As I looked out the window I noticed something. I noticed that the homes directly in front of my friend’s house had flat roofs, giving us an unobstructed view of the ocean. I also noticed that the houses in front of the homes with flat roofs had multiple stories and high-pitched roofs. I asked my friend, “Why would someone build a house on the beach that only looked into the house right in front of them?” My friend said that actually the houses with the flat roofs where here first. During the building boom of the 90’s the property in front of these houses was re-zoned residential and houses were built all the way down to the beach. First, the houses right on the beach went up, then the ones behind them went up. People building them taller, so they could see over the tops of the houses below them, all the way up to the original homes that were there.

Social unconsciousness-

Here I was looking out a window with a wonderful view of social unconsciousness. It was a kind of time travel really. I could see a time when people intentionally built their homes so that their neighbors behind them would still have a view. Then I saw a time when people stopped caring about the people behind them, or even beside them. They wanted a house on the beach with a view of the ocean. It did not matter to them that the house they built ruined the view of the house behind them. They had their view.

This got me to thinking; where else have I seen social unconsciousness?

Later that day my friend and I went out to eat. The town in which his house is located is your normal beach town. Winding, hilly two lane roads. Every few miles there are turnouts that slow moving vehicles can utilize to let others that are behind them pass them safely. On some hills, there are even extra lanes that allow safe passing to happen. As we drove to our destination point, we fell behind an RV that was going fifteen to twenty miles under the speed limit. We were the fifth car in line behind the RV. Before long there were twenty to thirty cars behind the RV, patiently waiting for a safe place to pass. We passed a sign that read, “Slow moving turn out ahead. Slow moving vehicles are required by law to use turn outs.” The RV drove right passed the turnout, seemingly oblivious to the fact that now there is almost a mile long string of cars behind them.

Social unconsciousness.

The more I thought about it, the more I saw it. I began to see social unconsciousness in the everydayness of our life.

When I think of social unconsciousness, I do not really think that they are unconscious of others. I am pretty sure that the RV knew that there was a line of cars that would relish the opportunity to get past this slow moving vehicle. I think that they just did not care. I am pretty sure that when the people built their new beach homes they were well aware that they were totally ruining the one thing the people before them had built their homes for, the view. They just did not care.

Have we become a people that are so self-absorbed, thinking only of ourselves, dare I say narcissistic, that we have become unconscious of our neighbor?

I cannot help what the world would look like if we all did the wonder move?

We all know the wonder move. Before we do something, say something, react to something, we say, “I wonder. I wonder how this will affect my neighbor. I wonder if what I am doing is negatively impacting another. I wonder if?”

If as a people, we are unconscious about others, why would we be surprised that others are unconscious about us?

Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Somebody said that once.

Lord, open my eyes to my social unconsciousness. Help me see where I am not thinking about my neighbor in the everydayness of my life. Give me the correction that I need so that I can truly be your hands and feet. Give me Grace as I extend Grace to others. Help me be a more loving person.

Blessings,

Something about Mary

Good morning,
I pray the day has found you well.

It is that time of year again.

Every year Camp Collins, the YMCA camp in our association has a fundraising dinner to raise money so that it can continue to provide a positive place for kids to go in the summer and learn “Y” values. The past few years I have been asked to speak at this fundraising dinner. I always say yes when asked, it gives me the opportunity to tell a good “Y” story.

I like to tell people that camp is where the magic happens and friends last forever.

As chaplain, I go out to camp at least twice a month. I try to make it every week, but schedules being what they are sometimes I miss a week. I am always on the lookout for a chaplain that has a heart for camp, someone who can spend more time with the staff and kids. I usually make it out to camp on either a Wednesday, or a Friday; these are the days that campfire is going on. Campfire is a time when all the campers come together and yes, there is a campfire. There is a lot of singing, skits, and general fun going on at campfire. I usually drag my wife with me and we make it a date.

Something about Mary.

Laurie, my wife and I went to campfire last summer on a Wednesday. Campfire, if you are wondering, is a place at Camp Collins down by the Sandy River with a stage and benches set in a semi-circle around the stage. Laurie, and I were sitting in the back row waiting for campfire to start. All the campers started to come to campfire and take their seats on the benches.

Mary came and sat next to me.

I noticed something about Mary right away.

I noticed that Mary only had one leg.

Mary is not her real name, but a story always goes better with a name attached.

As Mary was watching campfire, I was watching Mary.

I watched, as she sang songs.

I watched, as she was part of a skit.

I watched, as her camp counselor interacted with her.

I watched Mary laughed.

I watched as Mary’s camp counselor looked at her. She looked at Mary and her eyes said, “I see you.”
The counselor did not see Mary as a little girl missing a leg. No, she saw Mary as completely whole, well, and strong.

Her counselor saw Mary as perfect.

It was a beautiful night.

I have often thought about Mary and her counselor, as I think about that campfire. I think, how Mary was missing a part of herself, she was missing a leg. It was easy to see Mary’s hurt, her missing part. If we are to be honest though, we are all hurting and missing a part of ourselves; most of the time we do not have the courage to look that deeply into ourselves and see the pain of our missing parts. But, when we do have the courage to go there, we see it and the pain that goes along with it.

What makes camp so special are the counselors. Yes, there are a lot of really cool things to do, like horseback riding, archery, Rockwall climbing, high-ropes…, but the counselors that do all the heavy lifting. They work with these kids. Many of whom, have invisible missing parts already in their young lives. What makes camp so special is after these kids leave camp, and are confronted with their pain and their missing parts, when they go to that scary place. They will not only see their pain, they will not only see their missing parts, they will see their counselor there with them. A counselor that is looking at them, their eyes saying, “I see you. I see you well, whole, and strong.” The counselor will help this kid come out of that dark scary place and back into the light and laugh.

Camp is a place, where the magic happens and friends are made forever.

Something about Mary.

Father, it is that time of year again, a time when we are raising money for a camp, a camp that helps kids. Please, touch the hearts of those attending the dinner so that camp can continue to do the work it does. You know Father that we are all missing parts of ourselves, many times unseen, but missing non-the-less. I thank you for these counselors. For when a kid has the courage to go that dark place and they see their counselor there with them who they are really seeing is You. Help us Lord be Your hands and feet.

Amen.

Blessings,