Today is one of my favorite days of the year; it is World Inflammatory Bowel Day!

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

Today is one of my favorite days of the year; it is World Inflammatory Bowel Day!

One of my dad's favorite pastimes when I was a kid was to pass gas in the car. He would drop a rose, that is what my wife Laurie calls it. I have never smelled a rose that smelled like that, but then again I have never dropped one either. Maybe, they smell different if you drop them, I will have to try it sometime. Just thinking about it makes me wonder what a florist shop would smell like after an earthquake? It must smell pretty bad, just say-in.

Anyway, my dad would drop a rose in the car and then quickly yell, "Quick roll up the windows (Yes this was back in the day before air conditioning) there is an oil well near by." and we would all roll up our windows complaining, "Man oh man, why do oil wells have to smell so bad?" quickly followed by, "Dad, where is the oil well? I can't see it." He would reply, "It is just over that hill over there." The only flaw in his plan was we lived in Kansas and there were no hills over there. 

Did I ever mentioned that one day my dog ran away? I watched him run away for three days; that is how flat Kansas is. 

Unfortunately, for us kids we got dropped on our heads a lot when we were young, so we never caught on. 

Well that is enough about my father's seditious remote parts. 

Back when I pestered, I mean pastored churches, I am sure I gave more than one seditious sermon that inflamed more than one congregant's bowel. How do I know that? Because, after every service one of my many, and I do mean many jobs, was to stand at the exit door and people would file by saying a few words to me as they left. Some had more than a few words, and some even had some ideas of how I could better do my job.

I was so lucky to have so many experts in the field in my church.  

Sometimes, as they coached me up, they would say, "Pastor Roger, that sermon really stunk!" 

And I would reply, "It wasn't the sermon, it was your inflammatory bowel!"

Looking back, I probably should of just let him think it was the sermon. There are many reasons why I am a Chaplain! But I must confess that after one of my seditious sermons, and as I walked through the sanctuary on my way to the front door, I could not help but notice there was an unusually rosy smell!

I remember something one of my mentor's, his name was Ken, once told me. He said, "Roger, remember that Pastor is just Greek for shepherd. Shepherds, shepherd sheep. Sheep are dumb, lazy, and smelly. They bite, and they kick, and they lay down with their feet uphill." I guess that is why we had so many sheep in Kansas, just one less thing to worry about.

I replied, "That is good counsel Ken, but why are we talking about sheep?" 

Ken just shook his head and said, "Go sit down in a pew."

When Ken said that I was reminded of an old adage. Confucius once said, "Show me a man who passes gas in church and I will show you a man who sits in his own pew." 

Laurie told me that Confucius never said that. I told her he must have since my dad told me he did and dad said he was never wrong. Well, he was wrong that one time when there was a six foot bull snake on our dirt road sunning itself and he said, "Kids come over here, I want to teach you how to pick up a snake." We came running over to have dad impart some great outdoorsman wisdom on us. He bent over the bull snake and reached down. The snake quickly bit him on the hand between his thumb and forefinger. Dad lifted his had up, with the bull snake still attached to his hand. We just looked at him and he said, "don't pick it up like that!" 

Today is World Inflammatory Bowel Day.

I am not making light of an inflammatory bowel, I am still recovering from lymphoma that attacked my small intestine and I have had more than my share of inflammation in the remote parts.  

I am using it as a metaphor for, "don't be a stinky Christian." 

Don't be that person that other people say, "if that is a Christian I don't want to be one.

• Don't be judgy
• Don't be mean
• Don't be petty
• Don't major in minors

Do be that person that exudes:

• Love
• Compassion
• Inclusiveness
• Christ

Naturally when I say this I begin to ponder.

How am I doing in this regard?

Do you ever think about these things?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

Luther, Zwingli, and Pope Leo walked into a bar

Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

It was a beautiful, sunny day yesterday. As I sat in my office longingly looking out at the blue sky and puffy clouds, watching people come in wearing shorts and T-shirts I was a little bummed. After all this was the first nice day we had in the Northwest since November, well maybe that is a bit of a stretch, but not by much. The best part of the copious amounts of rain we receive every winter and into the spring is watching the migration of Calibeasts and the Fornian 's going south again. 

I was sitting in my office a bit bummed. Whenever I get a bit bummed I try to cheer myself up by thinking about theological questions and all the doctrines that arise from them. 

It never works, possibly because I am to depressed for theology to cheer me up, or more likely, thinking about theology and all the nuances that created denominations is depressing in itself, and frankly a bit boring. 

Whenever I get to really pondering theology and all its nuances I start feeling like Marvin from The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

Life, don't talk to me about life.

When I think about all the divisions caused I get a little sad.  

Then I think of a conversation Luther, Zwingli and Pope Leo had all those years ago and it cheers me up. 

It went like this:

So Luther, Zwingli and Pope Leo waked into a bar. You would have thought Zwingli and the Pope would have genuflected (That one was for Trevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvor).

So Luther, Zwingli and Pope Leo waked into a bar and sat down. The bartender asks if they would like to try a wine. they all nod. so the bartender asks them what kind of wine they would like.

Pope Leo immediately replies, "It does not matter what kind of wine you get, for once I bless it it shall no longer be wine but become the blood of Christ."

Luther immediately interrupts, "Nonsense, for although the blood of Christ will really be present in, with, and under the wine, the wine will still remain. Therefore, let us order the finest, sweetest wine thy have so that we may thoroughly enjoy the gift of God."

Zwingli then shakes his head, "You two are nuts! It is only wine and a sign of Christ's blood. therefore we should order the most bitter wine they have in order to better remember and think on His suffering and death."

The three continued to argue in circles for a while until Luther paused, looked at the bartender and replied, "I'll have a Sam Adams."

How did we get here? Well it is quite simple really. Luther wrote a letter and nailed it to a door (a practice that was widely regarded back in the day) and somebody took it and made a bunch of copies. Not only did they make a bunch of copies but they had to translate it from Latin into German first. It wasn't enough that this person made a bunch of copies, no, they had to hand them out to a bunch of people too!

This led to a revolt

Which led to a break from the Catholic church, which led to denominationalism, which led to multiple traditions, which led to varying beliefs, which led to different doctrines, and ultimately led to a very bad run-on sentence!

Take heart fellow ragamuffins!! If you believe with your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, that is all you need. Now go do what Jesus did and commanded. Love your neighbor as yourself. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the imprisoned and the sick. 

Oh, and go to church. 

I think I have pontificated enough. I think I will go paddle. 

something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

Don't be a whitewashed tomb.

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

Matt did a wonderful job last Sunday talking about having God come into your house, but not letting Him come into certain rooms with-in your house. this was a great analogy of inviting God into your life, but not letting Him into your whole life. 

I have talked with you before about the elder that wanted to make a rule about not wearing shorts to church. He wanted people to clean up on the outside and look presentable; at least presentable to his standards. How I explained to him that God is more interested in how you clean up your insides than what you are wearing on the outside. 

Whitewashed tombs. 

Jesus called the Pharisees and Sadducees (Pastors of the day) Whitewashed tombs. How they looked really good on the outside but were dead on the inside. 

Have you ever driven by roadkill, a dead animal on the side of the road? Often times you can smell it long before you see it, and you can smell it long after you drove by it. Dead things stink. 

Don't be a whitewashed tomb. 

The funny thing is God is omnipresent (everywhere at once), how he does that, I don't know, I am not Him. The funny thing about being omnipresent is that you are everywhere. 

The funny thing about being everywhere is there is not place you can't be, even if someone does not want you there.  

So the idea that we don't invite God into any certain rooms, please, in our lives, doesn't mean He doesn't see them. No, it simply means that we do not acknowledge that He is in them. We go on as if we are hiding something from God. 

Oh, did I mention that God is omniscient? Omniscient simply means, all knowing.

The funny thing about God being all knowing is, God knows everything, even if we don't want Him to. 

So who really isn't looking into those places, looking into those rooms?

Do you know who is not omnipresent? It is us, we are not omnipresent.  

The funny thing about not being omnipresent is, we have the ability to not go into certain rooms, to close doors and hide things, not from God, but from ourselves and others. 

Do you also know who isn't omniscient ? It is us, we are not omniscient.

The funny thing about not being omniscient is, we can't be in multiple rooms at the same time. So we close doors behind us, so we can hide things that we don't want to see or have others see. 

It is these rooms, these places in our lives that keep us from being in true relationship with God. It is us closing a door to ourselves.

The funny thing is, we close the door out of fear that if God sees in that room He will not love us. But as we already talked about, He already not only sees into that room He is standing in the middle of it. 

So is the reason you have a secret room because you don't want to look at it? Do you have a secret room because you are trying to please man? 

Paul (Yes, that is his real name) Asked, am I trying to please God or man?  

A question we have to ask ourselves, "Am I trying to please God or man. Is that secret room, that secret place so important that I am willing to keep God at arms length over it?"

Something to ponder.

Let go and let God.

Blessings,

Roger

In the words of Yoda, "No! Try not! Do or do not, there is no try."

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

Finally a national something day that I can write about with my eyes closed.

salkdvf;kljvdnrewipnvfnpfp[a j fewo vcf!!  

Well maybe not literally closed; that wasn't quite as good an idea as I thought it was. 

Today is "National Love your Neighbor Day"!

As far as I am concerned it might as well be the Clark County Family YMCA Day! You have heard me say this a bunch of times, 

"While it is true that we have the best pool in Clark County Washington, the largest group exercise studio, weights and weight systems that rival any gym, indoor track, awesome gymnasium and multi-purpose rooms, along with programs that are the envy of Southern Washington. All that stuff are just tools that we use to do what we do best. What we do best is love on people." 

We actually have a "Transformation Team" with the sole purpose of teaching a community to love its neighbor. How do they do that you ask? Well, accomplish that amazing feat by doing a lot less talking and a lot more doing.

Oh wait, did I hear you say, "Ya right, that will never work. where did you get that hairbrained idea from?"

Well, being the village idiot that I am, I obviously didn't think it up on my own.

I read it in a book, now what book was it? 

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

²⁵ On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

²⁶ “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

²⁷ He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’^[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b]”

²⁸ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

²⁹ But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

³⁰ In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹ A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³² So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. ³³ But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴ He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two denarii^[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

³⁶ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

³⁷ The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Here at the Clark County Family YMCA we are busy "going and doing likewise" to the best of our ability. do we always get it right? No, not always. We have a saying, It is ok to make a hustling mistake, just don't make the same mistake over and over. There are too many new mistakes we can make to get into the rut of redoing old mistakes. 

In the words of Yoda, "No! Try not! Do or do not, there is no try."

How are you at loving your neighbor, Are you doing or doing not?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

This morning it was pipes, valves, water pressure and all things plumbing

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

I got to the "Y" this morning a few minutes early today. I had a 7am meeting so instead of getting here at 6:45am I got here at 6:15am. It is amazing what you see getting to the "Y" at different times. this morning I was privy to a conversation between Sabastian and a member that swims in the mornings before work. 

Evidently Cliff (Not his real name, and I am using Cliff, as in Cliff Clavin, from the old T.V. show "Cheers" simply because he reminds me of him) is quite the expert on lots of things, this morning it was  pipes, valves, water pressure and all things plumbing. he was pontificating on electrolysis, anodes, and shower valves. Sabastian didn't interrupt. In fact, he had that "I'm so interested in what you are saying" face on that I thought I was looking at myself in the mirror. Obviously, Sabastian had been watching me work unbeknownst. 

As I listened to Cliff's riveting diatribe, I was actually inspired by how the members care and feel ownership to the "Y" they call home. Yes, of course there still are those that complain about this, and that, but we're getting less of the complainers and more of the "I can helpers",

We have been working on teaching a community to truly love its neighbor for quite a while now. It is cool to see it coming back at us. 

We have a homeless community that has become truly part of our family. They have full memberships and have taken ownership of our "Y". They police the parking lot, picking up trash and volunteering in other areas. Some have applied for jobs at our "Y", I don't know where in the process they are, but I love the fact that we are connected and walking life together. 

When I think about all the great things that are going on in our "Y" I cannot help but think of the words of Paul, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

I am also drawn to Jesus when asked, "Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" 

Jesus answered, "Love the lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself."

When I asked what is it that the "Y" does well, I always answer, "We do a lot of things well, but what we do best is love on people."

We are really good at loving our neighbor, it is nice to see our neighbor loving us back.

I wonder if I am missing anything?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

Yesterday was "Eat what you want Day."

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

I have great news!!!

Bellona (Of course not her real name), noticed some grammatical errors, and a misspelling here and there. 

Bellona said, "You have grammatical errors in your breads."

In true Chappy fashion I said, "Ya, so what." Even after all these years as a chaplain I still amaze myself at my caring response to people in conversation with me.

She said, "You should fix them before you send out the bread."

I responded, "If it is so important to you that the breads are grammatically perfect, you fix them."

After some back and forth Bellona agreed to be the "Bread editor" for us. 

So here is our first bread post editor!

Yesterday was "Eat what you want Day."

I found that humorous. the fact that I am on an endless weight loss kick is because every day was an "Eat what you want Day." 

I actually know a Jennifer Lawrence. She is not the Jennifer Lawrence from the Hunger Games movies, but that doesn't take away the fact that I know a Jennifer Lawrence. I asked her for her autograph once, I suggest you don't do that, she just hit me. Thus the reason for the "You can Scream, Cry, and Yell, but you can't hit the chaplain" sign that I have in my office. But that is not what I want to talk to you about today. I am still in therapy from that beating. 

When I saw the National "Eat what you want Day" sign, Jennifer Lawrence, or JLaw as she is commonly called. Was walking by. I immediately put the two together and came up with, "The Hunger Games." I can remember my revulsion when I watched the scene in the capital and they were all eating extravagant food. when someone came up to Peta and Katniss and offered them more food, they politely declined stating that they were full. the person then said, "Drink this, it will make you throw up and you can eat more food." 

The irony was that I was revulsed by this in the movie and yet at the same time as I was watching it, I was busy wolfing down an entire pizza.    

I am learning that I don't need to eat until I am busting at the seams, and in all actuality, I am happier if I don't. 

I was busy thinking / pondering about "Eat what you want Day" and how I can be revulsed one moment while at the same time doing exactly what was making me revulsed in the first place. That is when God threw a wrench into my whole thought process. 

God said, "You might as well have a "Think what you want Day", it seems you are having as much trouble controlling your thoughts as you have been with controlling your eating." 

I said, "Yes, I know. I do pretty good for a while and then some abhorrent thought comes into my head and the next thing I know I am pondering that as well."  

God said, "I know, This whole omnipresent thing means that I am present in your thought life as well. Frankly, sometimes it makes me want to scream, cry, and yell." 

I said, "That's ok, just don't hit me."

We had a good laugh at that one. 

As we talked I said, "I even teach thought life and do directional work with-in it, and I know I have my thought radar scanning pretty far out there, but every so often I catch myself in a daydream that usually starts with a "What If" scenario." 

God said, "I know, but nobody ever trips on a crack in the sidewalk and just falls into sin, they think about it first. It goes something like this:

1. A thought pops into their head.
2. They begin to think about it.
3. They realize they should not be thinking about whatever the thought is. 
4. They decide to think about it anyway.
5. Pretty soon the thought consumes them.
6. They think they want to do it, whatever "it" is.
7. They justify why it is ok to act on the thought.
8. They act on the thought, this action is called sin. 

I said, "I can't tell you how many times people have sat in the chair and said, "I don't know how I got here in my life." "It is like I just fell into this situation."

I just look at them lovingly and say, "Yeah, No." (Remember I am good at what I do). 

And yet, I too catch myself starting down that road. Sometimes I get to level 3-4 before I go knock it off and correct myself. Of course another conversation with God happens soon after. 

Am I the only one who has times when I fight the, "Think what you want Day," or do others fight it as well.

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

Yesterday was "National Clean Your Room Day."

 

Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

One of the many things that I love about being a chaplain is that people think I like to listen to their jokes, especially the bad ones. They mistake my "Oks" and "sures" for me being interested. 

I get to hear jokes like, "What do you call a Zombe cooking Stir fry?

I get to answer, "I don't care, I mean I don't know."

And they answer, "Dead man woking."

        Or

"Why did the bicycle keep falling over?"

I say, "Why?"

"It was two tired."

In the words of Monte Python, "Oh these are terrible times to be a shrubbier"

Yesterday was "National Clean Your Room Day."

I was pondering the fact that every day is "National" something day. As I ruminated on "National Clean Your Room Day." I couldn't help think about my mother. To her, everyday was "National Clean You Room Day." I never knew what the big deal was. I liked my room just the way it was. My toy trucks, and blocks, Mattel Hot Wheel cars and track, were just where I wanted them. Evidently, my toy trucks, and blocks, Mattel Hot Wheel cars and track, were not just where she wanted them. 

She would say, "Roger, pick up your toys." 

I would say, "I can't."

She would respond, "Why can't you pick up your toys?"

I would answer, "Because there are to many of them to hold all at once."

Then Mom would say, "I am sick and tired." I hated it when she was sick and tired. I didn't mind if she was sick, and I didn't mind if she was tired, but sick and tired, well that was a whole another level. When Mom said, "I'm sick and tired." a spanking usually followed. 

As she was busy turning my butt cheek into an interesting color of red she would say, "Why do you always have to have a smart___ answer.

I would say, "Use your words Mom. Words are important. You said 'Why can't you pick up your toys?' and I told you why I couldn't."

She said, "Fine, I will do a better job of using my words next time."

I said, "Why not now?"

Mom replied, "Because I am too busy using my wooden spoon right now."

All I could say was, "Oh" or was it "Ouch" I can't remember.

One day I asked why it was so important to have a spotless room. Mom said, "Well you never know when you are having guests."

I replied, "I never have 'guests', and the other kids that I play with, like my toys where they are too."

She just gave me the "LOOK". She was looking tired.

I asked her if she was tired, and she said, "Yes." I then smiled and asked her if she was sick too?

Looking back I think that was a bad move. She just turned and started walking out of my room.

I asked her, "Where are you going?"

She said, "The kitchen."

Have I ever mentioned that my mom didn't cook.

I asked her, "Why are you going to the kitchen, the phone is in the hallway?" She used the phone to cook with, it was a very important cooking tool I learned. It was like a miracle, or something. She would pick up the phone say some words and thirty minutes later food would miraculously appear at the front door. I never did figure out how she did that.

She said, "To get the spoon."

I fled out the window.

When I got older I realized that having a clean room was important; mostly because I started having "Guests" come to my house.

As I said, yesterday was  "National Clean Your Room Day." I was just sitting there wasting time with God, when He started talking about the importance of cleaning your room. I started to get nervous, but I didn't ask Him if he was sick and tired (See how smart I have gotten). 

He started talking about the importance of having a clean spiritual room. Of taking care of your thought life. 

As He talked, I listened to His words and pondered my spiritual room. Was it clean, or cluttered? I think I have a pretty good spiritual room, but It could use some straightening up. I see a dirty sock or two that need to put in the laundry. There are some cobb webs in the corner. I need to get rid of those too. 

I will continue to work on cleaning my spiritual room everyday, not just on "National Clean Your Room Day."

How about you, is your spiritual room as clean as you would like it?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger