God Took me on a walk

Good morning,
I pray the day finds you well.

We had a Town Hall the other night. It was a ZOOM Town Hall. There were over twenty people present and we had amazing moderators that kept the conversation flowing.

The Town Hall was on Bias, Racism, and how people feel with-in the YMCA. Do people feel safe, do people feel included or excluded.

My job was to listen, or so I thought.

I am an internal processor.

What is an internal processor you ask? An internal processor is a person who processes the information internally before being able to give an adequate external answer. We are the people that have great comebacks to people's remarks, the only problem is we have them 3-days later. We are the opposite of external processors that process information on the fly verbally.

When I listen, I listen with the intent to listen and not the intent to respond.

The Town Hall was going along swimmingly and we were at the end of the Town Hall when Trevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvor said, "Roger, we need to hear from you. You have been quite throughout the meeting."

What I should have said was, "I am an internal processor so I have not formulated a proper response yet, but I am amazed at what I have been hearing and am truly grateful to be part of this group." Of course I thought of this 2-days later.

What I did say was how I too felt excluded from the YMCA and then told them examples of my exclusion.

I was not happy with my response. It was not well formulated nor thoughtful. I realized that I had things to address. So I did what I always do when presented with something that I cannot work out on my own.

I took a walk with God.

I took an 8-mile, 3,400 elevation gain walk hike though some of the most beautiful country God has created. If you have ever hiked the Gorge you know what I mean.

God basically walked me into the ground and then we had our conversation.

God in His gentle way showed me that while yes I may have had some tough times, and been through some stuff. I still did not go through what others have gone through.

I responded, "Father you know I love everyone and I feed people, I cloth them, I visit them when they are sick..."

God said, "It isn't about that. It is about letting them tell you how they hurt and how they feel. It is about being their ally and their advocate. This is not about you."

Did I mention that I am an old, balding, fat, white guy? At least that is how I present.

Actually I am a mutt. My family on both sides have been here since the early 1600's.

I have in my lineage:
Native American
African American
Euro American

I present white.

God knows I am a mutt, He loves mutts.

I came home from my walk with God, my adopted daughter was there to greet me.

She is a mutt too.

She has in her lineage:
Native American
African American
Euro American

She is also part of the LGBTQ community.

I told her about my walk with God. I apologized to her if I had ever said anything that she took as offensive. She said thank you, and no I had not.

I want to apologize to you if I had said anything that you took as offensive. It was not my intent to offend.

My wife looked at our daughter and said, "Roger never wanted people to say, 'That was a good sermon.' What he liked hearing was, 'Your sermon made me uncomfortable."

True self reflection is hard, it is also awesome.

Something to ponder.

Blessings,
Roger