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Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Death by a thousand cuts

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

Darryl decided to prune his tree. Now to be honest and transparent, Darryl doesn't have a lot of experience pruning trees. He came into my office and said, "Roger you have to see what I did this past weekend!

I said, "Ok" (If you remember, that is chaplain speak for, 'God, I hope this doesn't take long, and give me patience. Like a I said, I am a great chaplain). 

Darryl started to flip through the pictures, telling a story and weaving a tale with each picture. Somehow, I was transported back to the 70's when our family had the good luck of knowing people that went on vacations, although we never did, and they would invite us over for a rousing 3-hours of carousel slide projector pictures of Ethel with a Mai-Tai, and a bikini that probably looked great 20-years ago. And Bob, in those Bermuda shorts that look a lot better on the guy in the magazine. 

As a teen I had more fun getting kicked by a horse than those vacation picture nights. It probably says a lot about why I am the way I am.

But here I was putting my best chaplain face on, while Darryl told me about his pruning prowess. 

Darryl said, "Here is that ugly tree sporting branches in every direction. Uggg...I just couldn't take it. I had to make it pretty."


So I made a few cuts.......But it still wasn't right.


After a few more it really began to take shape. but not quite there yet!


Finally, I got it to just the way I wanted it. I might have pruned a little much, but I think it looks ok. 


As I listened to Darryl, weave his tale. I couldn't help but think of Brennan Manning and Henry Nouwen. I couldn't help but think of the Ragamuffin Gospel and the Genesee Diary. 

To use Manning's wit and wisdom is to see the tree full of life just after a person comes to Christ. They are happy, full of life, looking forward to this new relationship, they are a new creation, it is a beautiful thing.

Time goes by...

The church has started the pruning process in their lives. At first it doesn't hurt much and the person still feels full of life and excited to live this new life.

More time goes by...

The church has pruned a bit more. Now the person doesn't smile as much anymore. They come to church because they are supposed to, not because they want to. It is beginning to hurt being in church. They notice a judgment of those in the pews. They work even harder to be accepted and to "be the right kind of Christian."

More time passes...

Now, if they have managed to stay in church (which by now is an iffy thing) they are dead inside, all their spirituality has been pruned away. They are little more than a stump of their former selves. they sing Joy to the world, with no joy in their voice. 

Death by a thousand cuts.

They have become dead Christians.

If you think I am being hard on the church, you are right, I am. I have watched too many pastors flame out and crash, leaving the ministry altogether feeling as if they are nothing more than a stump of a once beautiful tree. Beaten down and out by over needy parishioners, and pushed by those above them in the denomination until they are dead inside.

I have even sent more than one pastor on a monastery style spiritual retreat, just to re-center themselves.

Christ came to save us, not kill us. So why do we put so much energy into killing our brothers and sisters in Christ and wounding our healers? 

And, if you are a fellow ragamuffin but still has reservations abut the whole thing, take heart, find a group of people that are grace filled, low on judgement ( I would say judgement free but I can't honestly say any human is judgment free), and big on love. I found one in the church that meets at our "Y". We love Jesus, and we love each other. 

God has asked me to look at myself and find where I might have culpability and need to ask for forgiveness.  

Are you brave enough to look yourself in the mirror and see where you might have hurt a blossoming Christian, just because they didn't do everything right? Or have you not forgiven the church because a person that isn't good at pruning has judged and hurt you? 

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

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