There is no "us" because if there were an "us" there would be a "them."

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

It is Thursday morning at the time of this writing. Frederick, you know Frederick the Great, just called. he is heading to the coast. I said that I would have loved to go with him, but there was this guy who was still mad at me for a bread I wrote a gazillion years ago, well maybe not a gazillion years, that might be an exaggeration, my mom used to get made at me when I exaggerated, she would say, "Roger, if I told you once, I have told you a million times, don't exaggerate!" Mom hated it when people exaggerated. 

Anyway Frederick was going to the coast and I had expressed a desire to go, but had reservations because of this guy who was still mad at me, and Frederick said, "When I get there I will let you know if the coast is clear." badump-bump.

Going to the coast was not the reason for his call however. He has an extended family member who is 93-years-old, and the Senior Center where she would go to socialize closed down, leaving her without a place to connect. Frederick asked if he could bring her to the "Y" and maybe she could chat with you? Of course I said, "Yes!"

I told Frederick that I would be honored to chat with her, and how the "Y" is such a great place to connect. If she would sit in the common area for any length of time, she would end up meeting lots of people. Frederick thought that was a great idea and said that when he got back from the coast he would schedule a time to bring her up. I told him that sounded great and we hung up. 

What I didn't tell him was that I was going to grill her about Frederick's growing up years so I could blackmail him later. 

I am glad we hung up the phone before I slipped and said something to tip him off!

Being a place where people can connect isn't a novel, or new idea. We have been using the term third space for a very long time. And while the "Y" is a great third space it isn't the only place that can be or has been used as one. 

What makes the "Y" a great third space is the fact that lots of people use it. You will find a lot of diversity in the "Y",  giving individuals the opportunity to connect with people that are, and are not like them. They can be as active, or inactive as they want. A person could, and people have, formed groups around just about anything. 

And if a person wants, they can also get a bad cup of coffee, just like a coffee house.

In his book, The Search to Belong, Joseph Myers makes the following observation and assesment, "Communities are voluntarily connected in search of genuine and meaningful experiences."[1]

[1]Joseph Myers, The Search to Belong, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 14. 

We must discover the language that moves our definitions of community forward while at the same time give our culture a lexicon people can use to express their community experience.  Our language needs to connect to an authentic piece of a person’s community puzzle, so that when they see, hear, and feel our “words,” they see, hear, and feel “welcome.”[1]

 

1. How do we create a genuine experience of belonging?
2. How can we help people grow in a way or in ways that help them connect and experience community?
3. Why are some of the groups we create empty?
4. Why do some of our groups seem forced?[2]

 What organizations measure becomes important.  Likewise, individuals measure what they find important in their lives.[3]

Here at our "Y" we are obsessed with creating spaces where people can belong. We talk in terms of Family, Community, Together...

There is no "us" because if there were an "us" there would be a "them." 

There is only "we."

When I think about Frederick, and his 93-year-old cousin, I am glad we can provide a place to belong.

I often wonder what other ways we could create spaces in which to belong?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger

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[1]Joseph Myers, The Search to Belong, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 14. 

[1]Joseph Myers, The Search to Belong, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 28.

[2]Joseph Myers, The Search to Belong, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 60.

[3]Joseph Myers, The Search to Belong, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), 79.