What about me?

 Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

Yesterday's bread was quite the hit. People were running around asking people if they had read the bread yet? Bluebell asked Esmerelda if she had read the bread yet. 

Esmerelda asked, "Is it about me?" 

Bluebell responded, "NO."

Esmerelda responded, "Why should I read it then?"

Esmerelda came running into my office and I said, "No running in the 'Y'." Being the "no running in the halls police" is just one of the many duties I have as chaplain. 

Undeterred, Esmerelda said, "When are you going to write about me, when is it my turn? What about me?" and plops down in the "chair." Evidently plopping has become a thing at our "Y."

I realized that you may not know "The Chair." Well here is the chair that people keep plopping in!

While Esmerelda prides herself on being a bit of a drama queen (Hence the bread name she gave herself), and likes attention, I could tell there was something else going on behind her "what about me" statement. 

Esmerelda had recently moved into a new apartment building. She too, just like Archibald, had adult stuff to do. She had to call the utilities (power and water, no  garbage though). She set up a direct bill pay for her apartment and utilities. That is when the stress came into the picture. Somehow the direct bill pay she set up was not working correctly and she was overdrafting!

As she was calling the various organizations to correct this problem she was not feeling as if she was being heard.

I listened to her plight. There really wasn't anything I could do to fix it, but just listening helped her calm down. 

Listening with the intent to listen and not respond, is one of the most important tools in my chaplain toolbox. 

Many people tell me they are good listeners; when they tell me this I usually put them to the test (without their knowledge of course) and find that they aren't.  

Being a good listener takes practice, it is hard to master. Most people aren't listening at all. They are just waiting for their turn to talk. while the other person is talking they are formulating their response. Sometimes, they can't even wait for the other person to finish talking and they interrupt. Most times they don't even know they aren't listening, they think they are, but they aren't. 

One of the techniques that I use is to make sure there is a pause after the other person is finished so I can formulate my response. If I already have a response I know that I have failed to listen completely and ask clarifying questions. 

Listening is hard work. 

God tends to give me feedback on my listening skills. He tells me when I am doing good and nudges me when I could have done better. 

The world could use a lot of good listeners right now.  The question I am pondering is, "How could I become a better listener?'

Do you ever ponder this question, or have you mastered the art of listening? If you have, do you have any pointers for me?

Something to ponder.

Blessings,

Roger