My canoe is 17' long, it doesn't sound like much but it is amazing how different the world can be in just 17'.

Good morning,

I pray the day finds you well.

The river is moving right along now. The current is strong but without eddies, rivulets, or rapids. The water is clear and you can see the bottom of the river which is rocky. When you look ahead, it doesn't feel like you are moving very fast, but when you look at the rocks on the bottom of the river, as you pass by, you see that, in fact, you are moving right along.

My traveling companion is sitting in the front seat of the canoe, she is looking content and relaxed. You can always tell when she is in this state; her eyes are relaxed and quiet, and the corners of her mouth are turned up, just a bit, not like a real smile, more like "I am happy just to be here with you" kind of smile. I can tell her thoughts are good and that she feels safe. In fact, she is actually sitting sideways in the seat. She has her feet dangling in the water, She looks up at the green, green trees against a blue, blue sky; then she looks back down at the water, her mouth is still turned up in that content relaxed sort of way, she is holding a little box of wine in her lap. There is no mask, maybe the wine helps? She never looks so beautiful as when she is in this state. 

My canoe is 17' long, it doesn't sound like much but it is amazing how different the world can be in just 17'. 

She is in the front of the canoe, obviously in a good place. I on the other hand sit in the back, roughly 15' away, and I am tense, angry, sad, hurting, hopeless, with my thoughts in a jumbled mess. 

I know I am loved. I know that people like me. 

Oh my god, I sound like John Handy, "By gosh people like me."

I am not looking back, the mirror is gone. She took care of that.

I am not looking into the future, my spyglass seems to be missing. I have a good idea who took it.

I am sitting here, in the twilight of the present. If I could just get into the full light of the present, I know I will be good. I will be happy, and life will come into focus. 

I guess this is part of the process. I take a look at myself.

There really isn't any reason for me to be tense. I don't even know why I am?

There really isn't any reason for me to be angry. I don't even know why I am?

There isn't really any reason for me to be sad. I don't even know why I am?

There isn't really any reason for me to be hopeless. I don't even know why I am?

Johnny Cash comes to mind. 

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bone
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

You load sixteen tons and what do you get

Another day older and deeper in debt

Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go

I owe my soul to the company store

Here I am canoeing down the river, paddling to the cadence of Johnny Cash and Sixteen Tons.  

I hope the sun of the present doesn't take too long to come up. I sure get tired of me. 

For now, I will focus on the person in the front of the canoe, and take pleasure in watching someone else's contentment.